A Single Tear
by gazse
Summary: Sonic and Shadow have been going out for a long time in secret, but what happens when hiding hurts too much? a sad sonadow...


Gaz san: I felt like writng a sad fic. I guess it was because of all the sad Shadow fics I've been reading lately.  
enjoy...

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A Single Tear

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He sat alone in the corner, like he always does. He stares out the window so he wouldn't make the mistake of looking at his secret lover of the past two years. Even though it hurt not being able to touch him, he had to handle it. For Sonic's sake.

Sonic glanced at his dark lover from his place in the center of attention. It was only a fleeting glance so it didn't attract attention.

They had been going out for two years and cared for each other deeply. But it was Sonic's fear that kept them from taking the relationship further.

Sonic didn't fear much mind you. Only two things had truely scared him enough to give him nightmares: one was that Shadow didn't return his feelings which had later been proved wrong, and the thought of telling his friends and the world about their relationship.

He was a hero! The people love him and he loves them back. But he had seen the public quickly turn on their heroes before, over little mistakes or the hero's personal life. What would the public think of his sexual preference? Especially with his ex-rival?

And there was also his friends: Tails and Cream were too young to understand, Amy Rose would be heart-broken and might do something stupid to either herself or Shadow, Knuckles was a major homophobic and was disgusted to the point of vomiting whenever he saw a gay couple openly showing emotions, and Rouge appeared to have a slight crush on both the Guardian and the Ultimate Lifeform, it would hurt her as well.

Another passing glance at Shadow made his heart ache. He longed to be over there with him, hugging him, kissing him, looking at him with lust-filled eyes without fear of rejection from his friends.

They were currently at Rouge's appartment, celebrating... something, Sonic didn't really read the invitation, just where it was, what time and BYOB (bring your own beer).

Shadow silently got up and without even a glance in Sonic's direction, walked out to the balcany in the other room. No one noticed this. No one ever notices, only Sonic. That ment that Sonic was the only one to see the single tear slowly sliding down the dark hero's cheek.

It made Sonic's heart break in two. He was causing the one he loved so much pain, all because he was scared. But anyone who had ever felt this emotion, not the 'nervousness' you get before getting on stage before a performance or the 'anxiousness' you feel before bungee jumping etc, but the real fear emotion, would know that it can override your senses, making you unable to simply brush it off and do what has to be done.

Excusing himself from the convasations going on around him, Sonic quietly walked out to the balcany. He felt the eyes of his friends on his back and closed the door behind him so they couldn't hear what they were saying.

Shadow stood there, leaning over the balcany's rail, gazing out over the city.The azure hedgehogcopied his pose and stared longingly at his counterpart, noticing the tear still there, glittering in the moon light.

"Shadow, whats wrong?" the blue teen asked in a hushed voice, not entirely positive the people inside couldn't hear them.

He was silent for a moment, then whispered back, "it hurts Sonic"

Sonic's previously broken in two heart shattered. Shadow never tore his gaze away from the city, afraid his lover might be angry with him for being selfish.

Before Sonic had the chance to reply he heard his name being called from the door. He turned to see Tails with a huge stupid grin on his face spouting some nonsense about Knuckles doing something stupid and embarrasing himself.

"I'll be there in a sec' lil bro" Sonic replied distracted.

Tails nodded and went back inside but stood just inside, watching.

He turned back to Shadow, finding him in the same position, with that same tear seemingly stuck to his cheek.

"I'll see you at home" he whispered. Sonic nodded sadly and walked inside, not bothering to turn back around knowing that he had already gone.

That night, Sonic was the center of attention, but like always when Shadow left, he felt lonely. No one's touches made him feel as warm as Shadow's did. No one's words touched his heart like Shadow's. The black hedgehog was truely Sonic's world, yet that was a secret to everyone.

Sonic left early that night, saying that he was tired and had a headache, they were surprised but accepted the fact that no one, not even Sonic was invincible.

He walked home through the late night drizzle, looking forward to snuggling up to Shadow but dreaded the lookhe hadhad earlier.

Sonic silently pushed the door open, knowing that his lover would be in bed. He rid himself of his shoes upon entering the bedroom. He saw his Ultimate Lifeform's figure with an eerie glow around it from the moonlight seeping through the curtains.

The hero sat on the end of the bed, looking down at Shadow. If an artist ever wanted to paint a picture of loneliness, Sonic had the perfect scene in front of him. The sheets were all messed up, Shadow lay on his side with one arm straight out in front of him where Sonic usually slept and the trail of that tear still visible on his face.

Deciding to sleep, the blue hedgehog got under the cover and wrapped his arms around Shadow's frail form. He felt him shiver, but slowly relax into the protective arms around him.

Sonic sighed. Ever since this relationship started, he had always stayed awake until Shadow was asleep just so he can see the innocent smile on his face when he snuggled up to him. But lately, Shadow didn't smile when he was in the warm embrace, he would only shiver and sometimes even let a single tear escape. It was never more then one single tear. Always alone. Just like Shadow.

Sleep claimed him and like every other night, he dreamed of their relationship exsisting openly and everyone leaving them alone. And as always, he woke feeling a little depressed.

He reached to his left to find it vacant. Sonic shot up and scanned the room, noticing that he was alone and the room felt slightly empty.

The smell of freshly cooked bacon reached his nose and made him drool. He grabbedhisglovesand walked out to the kitchen, seeing that it was also empty apart from a plate of bacon and eggs and a note.

Sonic sat down and started on the eggs before picking up the note and reading it:

_'Dear Sonic, _

I hope you enjoy your breakfast, and the rest of your life, because I won't be part of it...'

Sonic choked on his meal and read on:

_'I know that this relationship was hard on you and it was distracting you from your friends and your job as a hero. I'm sorry for being so selfish. _

I figure the best way to help you is to leave and never come back, so you can find someone else who you won't have to hide.

I'm sorry for all the time you wasted with me instead of your friends. I'm sorry that I made you do that.

Please find someone else, someone better, someone who deserves you, someone you don't have to be ashamed of.

You always meant the world to me, and I hope you find happiness soon.

Loves always,

Shadow'

Wave after wave of grief and sorrow tore through Sonic as he kept re-reading the letter, praying that he had mis-read it or something.

Finally giving up on that idea, he looked up and let his tears fall like waterfalls.

"That idiot" he whimpered, "Why did he think this was his fault? Why did he think he was the selfish one? Why did he think I would want anyone else?"

He abandoned the food and raced out the door, stopping only briefly to put his shoes on before bolting out onto the street. Unfortunately, Shadow could've been anywhere by now.

The city was searched within minutes and re-searched again and again over the next hour, but he came up with nothing each time.

Mid-afternoon came quickly and Sonic had started searching the forest surrounding the city. He headed to their special spot where Sonic had admitted his feelings, which seemed like centuries ago.

Upon entering the clearing with a small lake in the center, The hero caught a whiff of the unmistakable smell of blood.

Once he scanned the area, he saw a patch of black with a bit of red.

He raced over and saw his counterpart, with slightly glazed eyes full of tears and wrists spewing blood like rivers.

"SHADOW!" Sonic yelled, softly shaking his lover, "Comeon Shadow! Don't do this to me! Not again!"

"Sonic..?" he gasped out.

Said hedgehog took off his socksand started trying to stop the blood flow with them, trying to hold back tears of his own.

"Why Shadow? Why did you think I would want anyone other then you?" he whispered.

"I... didn't want...you ... to...suffer anymore" the dark hero sobbed.

Sonic put more pressure on the wounds, making no move to stop the waterfall of tears coming down.

"I only suffered because I couldn't touch you, or be near you. I was the selfish one, not you!" Sonic whimpered.

"It's... too much...Sonic...I'll...always...love...you..." and he fell limp in his arms.

The speedstar's eyes widened and he choked on a sob before letting out an anguish scream that forever echoed around the forest,

"SSSHADOOOOOOOOW!"

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Sonic buried Shadow in that peaceful spot and made a little grave out of a flat slab of rock.

The hero stayed that night, crying himself to sleep on the makeshift grave, praying that this was all a dream. It wasn't.

He got home the next day and called a meeting of all his friends. They arrived at seven and were surprised to be welcomed by messy quills and bloodshot eyes on a smileless face.

"You do realise I have a responsibility and I can't just leave it alone all the time!" Knuckles declared angrily yet slightly teasingly to get a smile out of the hero. It didn't work.

"Don't worry Knuckles, it won't take long" he said blankly, not looking at the Guardian.

"Why did you want us here Sonic?" his 'little brother' asked.

"Well, I have something to tell you all. Shadow and I are in a relationship and have been for over two years" he paused and waited for the reactions.

Knuckles' did the 'fish out of water' thing with his mouth. Rouge looked like she got punched in the face a few times. Tails and Cream looked generally confused about what the problem was. And Amy, she looked like a volcano, waiting to erupt in a violent display of tears and anger.

"THAT FUCKEN GOTH HEDGEHOG! WHERE IS HE? I'LL FUCKEN KILL HIM!" she screeched pulling out her hammer and looking around the room.

Sonic's insides had long since frozen, yet the next explanation was the hardest to say. Lucky for him, his emotionless face never showed any sign of hurt.

"You don't have to Amy, he is dead. He killed himself the day before last because hiding hurt too much. He thought that he was the problem and that I would be happier without him" he said in a monotone.

Everyone, even Amy looked like they were about to cry. Rouge was the first to react when she got up and hugged Sonic tight, he made no move to return the hug but was slightly greatful for the warmth.

"I want you all to think back to your reactions when I said we where together and realise why we never told you" he stated when Rouge let go.

Sonic walked over to the table a picked up a note and handed it to Rouge.

"Wait five minutes before reading this and don't let the kids into the kitchen" he whispered and walked to the kitchen.

She knew immediantly what he ment and quickly ushered Tails, Cream and Amy out into the hall.

Knuckles gave her a confused looked but his eyes widened in understanding when they heard a dull thump from the kitchen.

They bowed their heads in silence for a minute, they both knew better then to try and revive him,then they walked to the kitchen to see Sonic's body with a slashed throat and tears streaming down his face.

The two treasure hunters wrapped him up in a garbage bag and while the red Guardian cleaned up the blood, Rouge read the letter out loud,

"Dear friends,

If you are reading this, then I am dead and with Shadow for all eternity. I am happy.

I tried playing the blame game but it keeps ending up with me. I was scared of what you would think so I told him not to say anything.

My selfishness has caused both of our downfalls.

You guys don't need me anyways, you can all defeat any threat that comes your way and now that I'm gone you'll all be famous and not just my 'sidekicks'.

I buried Shadow in my 'secret spot', I want to be buried next to him.

You can take whatever you want of mine, I don't really mind.

Please don't mourn for me too long,

Love,

Sonic" she finished.

Knuckles kept his head down but you could hear the soft dripping of water on the floor.

They buried Sonic the next day next to Shadow. Tails took his death pretty hard and refused to leave his room for a week, only coming out because Eggman had decided to strike.

Just like Sonic had said, they beat Eggman just as easy as if Sonic where actually there.

Rouge and Knuckles found comfort in each other and both stand guard for the Master Emerald.

Amy never was the cheery, obsessive fangirl she once was. It might've been because her hero was dead, his love was already taken or that she secretly harboured a crush for his bad-ass counter-part.

The world slowly forgot their hero and they hardly knew his rival. Tales of their adventures changed over time until they were completely different from the original, but one unspoken thing forever remained,

Their undying lover for one another...

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Gaz san: HOLY FRUITCAKES! I ment for it to be a little sad, but not to the point of suicide!

Ohhhh well, whats done is done.

please R & R


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